I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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