apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
