This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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