He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
