It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
