dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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