omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
