You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
