did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
