i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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