Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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