she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
