Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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