Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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