The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
