are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
