I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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