3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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