Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize