So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize