I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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