This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
