Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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