Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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