Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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