i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
