i wish peter jackson would direct porn
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
