I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's blow job season.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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