So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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