i don't like sucking hair
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize