it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
