3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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