The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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