Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to be your penis for a week.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
