return my video game
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
