he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
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