I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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