Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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