Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
