So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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