I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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