This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
