have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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