On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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