I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
