Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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