Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
