I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
