she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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