you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
