Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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