What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize