Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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