I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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