let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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