Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
