What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
