Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
