hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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