The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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