ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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